Reliving the Past
by Krinaia
Summary: The story of Rory and Tristan told by their daughter, Lorelai Elizabeth Du Grey. AU. No Logan, no Yale.
1. Remembering Mom

Disclaimer: 'Gilmore Girls' does not belong to me. This story is based on characters and situations created by Amy Sherman-Palladino, and owned by the WB and its affiliates. 

**__**

**_Reliving the Past_**

**_CharmedHPfanatic_**

My name is Lorelai Elizabeth DuGrey. I'm fifteen years old. My parents used to fondly call me 'Mary' but after that night, none of them ever did again. 

That night, the ninth of November, also called The Night Mom Never Came Back. It started innocently enough; I was in dad's study, with my older brother, doing our homework, while our dad was working. We did that every night. Our parents were big on grades, they supervised us, made sure we did them, and if we ever needed help, we could go straight to them. 

Mom called dad to say she would be home soon, that she was about to leave work. Two hours later we got another phone call. A drunk driver had hit mom's car, and her car had gone into a wall. She had died instantly.  

I didn't know that until later. Dad had dropped the phone, and ran out the door. My brother, Tristan, and I looked at each other. He was thirteen, while I was eleven. A few minutes later, our step-grandfather came to pick us up, and brought us to his house. 

Dad was there. I hardly recognized him. He was usually so proud, so tall… but there he was, sitting on the couch, his head buried in his hands. He was sobbing. Grandma was there too, tears streaming down her face, unable to comfort dad.

"Dad?" I remember my brother asking nervously. Dad had looked up, and I saw his eyes. At that moment, I knew.

"Did something happen to mom?" I had asked, my voice wavering.

He pulled us both to him, and told us what had happened. That mom had died.

Dad was so miserable. I never really noticed how much they loved each other. During the wake and funeral, he looked horrible. He looked beyond pain. Grandma and Grandpa (DuGrey) had to take care of us for a month, because my dad couldn't. He couldn't deal with his own pain, much less try to appease _ours_.  

 When we moved back in with dad, he wasn't sad anymore, he was angry. He made sure the guy who had hit mom never saw the outside again. 

He didn't smile or laugh anymore… he became absorbed in his work, started ignoring us… especially me. Grandma said it was because I looked just like mom. She said it hurt too much for him to look at me. 

I'm sad to say our family fell apart after mom died. Dad now is a total workaholic, he goes to work early, and arrives late every night. He and my brother always fight. My brother always gets in trouble by pulling pranks. Just last week, he took apart his teachers car, and put it back together in the Science Hall. Not him, but he and his friends paid mechanics to do it. He was suspended for two weeks. Dad yelled at him for two hours.

My brother and I are close, I'm glad to say. But when I started Chilton, I had never known that my brother was such a player. He had so many girlfriends… Grandma said that Tristan would be Tristan. She said he was just like dad. Dad said he was afraid of that. 

My relationship with my dad is complicated. I know he loves me, but he ignores me. We were eating dinner, when my brother asked how my date with my boyfriend went. I was totally surprised when dad suddenly went 

"You have a boyfriend? Who is he?" 

I remember telling dad that he had always been a good friend of mine, and that we had only started dating a few weeks ago. He had gotten angry, and set a rule that I wasn't allowed to date until I graduated from high school. I remember getting angry, and saying that Tristan had dated so many girls already. Dad had looked at Tristan, like he was afraid. 'Just like me,' I thought I heard him mutter.

Dad met my boyfriend, talked to his parents… I think he really must have scared him. I heard him mutter 'bag-boy' after my boyfriend left. I wonder what that meant. Suffice to say; I didn't think he liked my boyfriend very much.

"Lorelai?"

"Yeah dad?"

"Have you seen your brother?"

_Uh oh._ I thought. Tristan had been grounded, and had asked me to cover him. That was a bad move. Many people said I was honest to a fault. "He went out," I mumbled.

Dad came into my room. "What? He went out?"

I nodded glumly. 

"How? I took his car!"

"A friend picked him up…" I mumbled again.

Dad looked at me, as in _really_ looked at me. He smiled wryly. "Your brother asked you to cover for him, but you can't lie, can you?"

I was silent.

"So irritatingly honest," he smiled gently. "You're just like your mother," he said softly. "You're just as beautiful, honest, and good as she was."

Woah, that was praise. And it must have hurt like hell for him to say that. I smiled. "Thank you."

Then he did something he hadn't done in a very long time. He sat down beside me, and hugged me. 

"I want to give you something. It's in my room."

I nodded and went up to his room. There are no pictures of mom… not unless you know where to look. When you open one of the cabinets, it's a _shrine_ to mom. There are pictures of her, stuff from when they were dating, like concert tickets, even her clothes. Dad has never moved anything. Dad opened the cabinet, and pulled out a journal. 

"This was your mom's. This is for you to know her a little better," he said, his hand was shaking. 

I took it. I jumped up, and hugged him, kissing his cheek. "Thanks, dad."

He nodded. "Go, I have to track down your brother." 

I smiled again, and went to my room. Where had that come from? Dad _never_ talks about mom. He _never_ hugs me. 

I sat on my bed, and opened the journal.

Author's Note: Haven't visited this site in a while… ff.net's been down too long. Anyway, please review! How was this story? Cliched? Sad? Not worth reading? Please review! 


	2. Dealing with Dad

Disclaimer: See chapter one.

Author's Note: Wow! Sixteen reviews!!! I love you all! Here's more… 

Reliving the Past 

**_CharmedHPfanatic_**

I sat on my bed, and opened the journal.

***

_Harvard is everything I dreamed it would be. I love my professors, I love my subjects… and I love the library. The day started great, I got to know a few people, and they were really nice. Strangely, I ran into Tristan today. Yes, Evil Tristan, who can't remember my name, that Tristan.  _

I smiled when I read that last statement. Mary. That was his name for her… and then, it became their name for me, because I looked just like my mom.

He was in Harvard as well. Of course, he called me Mary. I thought that military school would make him a little different, but he hasn't changed at all. 

I stopped reading when I heard dad's door slam. I put the book on my bedside table, along with the many other novels I had there. Both my brother and I had inherited our mother's love of books. Dad had one of the rooms turned into a library, where we kept all our books. Every night when we were younger, after dinner, we would all go to the library where there would always be a burning fire. I would be sitting in this big squishy armchair with one of my favorite books. My brother would be seated on the floor, near the fire, reading a Dickens novel. Charles Dickens is his favorite author. Mom and Dad would be on the big couch. Dad would be reading something business-related, occasionally a random book that mom insisted he try reading, or the latest John Grisham thriller, and mom would be curled up against him, reading a Jane Austen novel, or another classic. 

I tried to go to sleep, but ten minutes later, I heard my dad and brother both coming up the stairs. Dad was yelling at Tristan, something about respect and discipline… My brother was being his jerky self. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but I know he can be a real jerk. 

I think it's only with me when he's not. I remember when I broke up with my boyfriend. I was crying, and crying. My brother came in, asked me what was wrong, and I told him everything. That he had cheated on me. The next day, my ex-boyfriend had a bleeding nose, and several bruises. My brother got a warning, and my dad had to come to school. Surprisingly, after he had learned _why_ my brother had done what he had, he didn't yell or punish him. That was the first, and last time that my brother has gotten into trouble without a lecture from dad. 

I counted to thirty until going outside to rescue my brother. 

I poked my head out. "Uh, Tristan? Could you help me with something?"

My dad glared at my brother. "Go help your sister. But I want to see you right after."

My brother shrugged and went inside my room. He closed the door.

"Thanks."

"I got you into the mess, I told dad."

"I know you did," he replied.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be?"

"Because I told dad."

"You couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it," my brother said, but his eyes were teasing.

"You're evil."

"I know."

I smiled at him. "Oh, dad did something weird today."

"Something weirder than usual, you mean."

"Yeah. He went into my room, talked to me, _hugged_ me, and gave me mom's old journal," I finished quietly.

Tristan looked shocked. "No way. He _never_ does _anything_ like that."

I got up and handed him mom's journal. My brother started reading aloud.

Harvard is everything I dreamed it would be. I love my professors, I love my subjects… and I love the library. The day started great, I got to know a few people, and they were really nice. Strangely, I ran into Tristan today. Yes, Evil Tristan, who can't remember my name, that Tristan. He was in Harvard as well. Of course, he called me Mary. I thought that military school would make him a little different, but he hasn't changed at all. 

_He asked me out on a date, to get to know each other again. I accepted. Moment of insanity I guess. Come to think of it, why did I accept?_

My brother stopped reading. "I miss her," he said lightly.

"Who doesn't?"

"Do you think things would be different if she was around?"

I nodded. "Of course. Dad would be a _lot_ different."

My brother rolled his eyes.

"He _would_. You know he misses mom a lot."

"I guess so."

"Why do you hate him so much?"

"Hate who?"

"Dad."

Tristan sighed. "I don't hate him."

"Then why do you go out of your way to disobey him?"

Tristan shrugged. "Half the time, he doesn't care what we do, or where we go. He only cares when we get in trouble. Well, not you, me."

"A cry for attention," I joked.

"Lame," he shot back.

"Read the next part."

My brother picked up the journal and started reading again. 

_One of the cons of studying at Harvard is that I can't rush to mom every time something __happens. I miss her… and Luke, Lane, Jess… and everyone else in Star's Hollow. I wonder how everyone is doing. I miss grandma and grandpa too. I wonder how mom is dealing with Friday night dinners._

_I'm glad mom and Luke finally got together. At least now she has someone to talk to while I'm away. _

_I miss Dean a lot, but I agree with him that we couldn't handle a long-distance relationship. Hope he's doing well in Chicago. _

_Unfortunately, mom has Luke, but me? Who do I__ talk to? _

_Weird. Tristan called a few minutes ago. We talked about Harvard, Chilton, books… he was so… well, caring. A total turn around from his player days at Chilton._

My brother snorted. "So that's where I get it."

I rolled my eyes, and took the journal from Tristan.

Of course, he called me 'Mary' and I've kinda gotten used to it. I'm looking forward to getting to know him again. 

Paris and Jess decided not to try the long distance relationship thing. Paris was-is pretty miserable. I think Jess is the same. Well, long day, going to bed now. I need to get up early and find a good coffee place.

I closed the journal. 

"I almost forgot about mom's coffee addiction," Tristan smiled sadly.

"Yeah. I remember how dad would make coffee in the morning… and then hide it the moment mom got up. She would irritate dad the whole morning until she got some."

"He always gave in, no matter how many times he said it wasn't good for her," my brother agreed. "He could never say no to her."

"That's why it was so much easier to ask mom for something, then ask dad. If mom said yes, dad would agree too."

My brother looked at the family picture on my dresser. We were kids when that picture was taken. Dad was trying to keep Tristan from squirming, and mom was holding me in her arms, laughing at him. It was a candid shot that grandma took.

Tristan got up. "Well, I'm going to bed."

"Don't forget to talk to dad," I automatically reminded him.

"So that he can yell at me? No thanks, I'd rather sleep."

I woke up the next morning, and got ready for school. I put the journal in my bag. I ran down to the dining room. My dad and Tristan were already there, dad was looking at some business stuff, and Tristan was just sitting there, waiting for me.

"I'm ready."

"Let's go," my brother got up, and headed out.

"Bye dad!" I called. He didn't look up. Okay, I thought that last night changed things. Apparently not. Dad was back to pretending I didn't exist. 

I got into Tristan's car. It was a BMW, dad gave it to him for his birthday. When we arrived at Chilton, I got out before he parked. It wasn't that Tristan was ashamed to be seen with me, it was the other way around. I didn't like going to school with him. It's hard when your friends have huge crushes on your brother. 

"Hi Lorelai," my best friend Willow greeted. She was Spanish, German and something else. I could never remember what the other one was. She was tan, with dark hair and eyes. I had no idea why her name was Willow. She said she didn't know either. Her name was Maria Regina something something. Long unpronounceable name. Very strict parents. We have been best friends since kindergarten. Dad used to tease mom and I that we were given foreign best friends with strict parents for a reason.

"Hi," I greeted. "Were you able to finish the Bio paper yesterday?"

"No… I couldn't find the right book. It's due next week, anyway."

"Procrastinator."

"Can't help it."

I smiled. We walked to our next class together. Willow suddenly made a face.

"What's wro-" I stopped, when I saw what she was looking at.

I grabbed her arm and quickly walked out of the hallway.

I bet you all want to know what she saw.

It was Tristan. And a girl. Need I say more? It was just kissing, you see it every day on TV, but when it's your brother… eew.

"Who's the new girl?" I asked my brother as we got into the car. 

"New girl?" he repeated.

"Yeah, the one this morning?"

"Oh, that was Natasha."

"I thought you were seeing Trisha?"

"I still am."

"What about Claire?"

"Her too."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm spending the night at grandma's"

"I know. Is dad dropping you off?"

I looked at him. 

"Didn't think so."

"Call the house and one of the maids to be ready with your bag, so all we need to do is get the bag, and go."

"It's already in the car. I told them to put it there this morning."

My brother nodded, and started the drive to Stars Hollow. "Did you bring mom's journal?" he said neutrally.

"Yeah, of course," I replied. 

"Oh."

"Did you want it?"

He shrugged.

"Why don't you stay at grandma's too, that way we could read it."

"Okay."

"Aren't you going to get your stuff?"

"No, I left some stuff there the last time."

"Why don't you call dad, and tell him that you'll be staying at Star's Hollow."

"He wouldn't care. Waste of time. Probably wouldn't notice anyway."

Tristan, my grandparents, and I were reading mom's journal when the phone rang. Grandma picked it up.

"Hello? Woah, slow down, they're both here."

"She did. I talked to you, don't you remember?"

"He decided to stay here too."

"Mmm. Okay." Grandma handed the phone to Tristan. "Phone for you. Very angry paternal guardian."

My brother rolled his eyes. "Yeah?"

"No," Tristan said tonelessly.

"So what?" 

"Wow, gold star for your observational skills," Tristan said sarcastically.

"It's not like you care, it's not like you ever cared."

I watched my brother nervously. I saw my brother about to hang up when I grabbed the phone. "Dad?"

"Lorelai?" I heard my father ask. He sounded tired.

"Yeah. Why did you call?"

"I forgot that you were spending the night at Star's Hollow. Came in to check on you guys, you weren't there, both cell phones were unreachable."

My brother's earlier response came to mind. It's not like you care, it's not like you ever cared. "You never check on us."

He was silent for a moment. "Your brother is always out, so it's just you actually. I always do. You're always already asleep."

"Oh."

"Well have fun, Lorelai. Good-bye."

"Dad, wait," I said quickly.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

My dad was silent. "I… love you too. Good night."

He hung up the phone.

I pressed the talk button on the phone to shut it of. Grandma, grandpa, and Tristan were all staring at me.

"What?" 

"Nothing," Grandma replied. "It's just… how often have you said that to your dad?"

"She hasn't since mom died," my brother interjected.

I saw the flicker of grief that came across my brother and grandparents faces.

"There's something… different about him. I don't know what it is," I finally said.

"Different? How?" Grandpa asked.

"Well for one, he's talking to me, isn't he?"

Grandpa nodded. "He gave me mom's journal… and, I don't know. He doesn't carry that 'I'm extremely rich, and extremely busy, don't bother me you're not worthy of my time. ' aura anymore. Well, he still kinda has it but it's weaker. 

Grandma turned to my brother. "Have you noticed anything?"

"Nope. 'You're a disappointment to the DuGrey name' speeches still coming," my brother said offhandedly.

"Sweetie, you're not a disappointment."

Tristan smirked. "Really?"

Grandma looked at Luke, and then spoke. "Okay, you are."

My brother shrugged.

"But, I was a disappointment too," she hurriedly added. 

"Okay… I don't really want this talk now. Can we have it in the morning?"

Grandma sighed. " I didn't want to talk about this, but you brought it up. Listen, hear me out. You have no idea how much Tristan loved your mother. Its… so hard for him… just to go through each day is a challenge. He is dealing with things the way he knows how, and I know it's not the best way."

My brother snorted. "Damn right."

Grandpa shot Tristan a glare. "Look. Your dad is doing the best he can. If you don't shape up to please him, think what your mother would say if she was still here. Do you think she'd be proud of you, getting suspended, grades slipping and always in trouble?"

My brother's flippant attitude disappeared. "I'm going to bed," he announced, and got up.

We all watched him go. "Luke, that was harsh," Grandma told him reproachfully.

"Someone has to yank him out of it, and Tristan isn't doing it the right way."

"Luke, he's still grieving for her, they… no we all are."

"You think it's just a phase? Was it 'just a phase' when Tristan got shipped off to military school?"

They seemed to have forgotten I was there. "Yes! It passed!" came grandma's reply.

"No, it didn't. What made him change was Rory. Unless Tristan's been hiding something from us, I doubt there's a girl he torments but is secretly in love with."

"Um, I'm going to go to bed now," I said to no one in particular.

"Oh, honey…" grandma started, realizing I was there.

I smiled quickly. "No, you don't need to say anything. I'm going to go to bed. I'm tired."

"I think that's a good idea, we're all tired," grandpa answered. "Good night Lorelai," he smiled comfortingly at me. "Don't stay up too late reading," he advised.

I grinned. "Not possible." I kissed them both on the cheek and went to my room. Mom's old room.

I woke up in the middle of the night. I heard voices coming from downstairs. It sounded like grandma and dad. I crept quietly downstairs.

"…Tristan, how could you keep this from us, from your children!" I heard grandma say. What had dad been keeping from us?

"Lorelai, please, I don't need this. Sign it!" I heard dad reply. Sign it? What was he making her sign?

I heard grandma give a sigh of exasperation. 

"Thanks," that was dad again. "I'm leaving, I have to-"

"No," Grandpa cut in sharply.

"What?" Dad asked in his 'who-the-hell-do-you-think-you're-talking-to?' tone.

"You're not leaving without telling your children what you just told us."

"I'll tell them when they come back." Good n-"

"No. You will tell them now."

"They don't need to know now."

"Tristan, they do!" grandma cried.

I couldn't take it anymore. The suspense was killing me. I walked down and went into the kitchen. "What do we need to know?"


	3. Things You Never Knew

Disclaimer: Don't own 'Gilmore Girls'

Author's Note: Sorry for the shortness of this chapter. I wanted to post sooner, but I thought the chapter was too short, and I couldn't lengthen it... and I felt guilty for leaving you guys at a cliffhanger, so... here it is.

**__**

Chapter Three: Things You Never Knew

Dad, grandma, grandpa, and Mr. Lascar, our family lawyer, were all in the kitchen, seated at the table. They all looked shocked to see me there. "Lorelai, how long have you been listening?" grandpa asked.

I looked at the ground guiltily. "Um, not long."

"How long?" Dad asked.

"A few seconds long?"

Dad nodded. "Go back to sleep."

"Tristan." That was Luke. Very accusing, and very scary. "Lorelai, your dad has something to tell you."

I looked expectantly at my dad, who looked like he was trapped. "Uh, lets go to your room."

Wow. That was weird, I don't remember him ever going there. We went upstairs together, and we both sat on the bed.

"So, Lorelai…" he began. "Uh… god this is difficult."

I was silent. 

He turned to me and sighed. "I guess you know what a brain tumor is."

My insides froze. "What?"

"A brain tumor. Malignant, inoperable," he said quietly. "I've got six months. What I'm trying to do now is to get everything in order so that there won't be any… complications when-"

"Since when have you known?" I asked, in a voice so cold, it didn't sound like me.

"Three months ago. Look Lorelai-"

"You knew about the brain tumor or that you were going to die?" I asked again in that unrecognizable voice.

"That I was going to die," he said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not telling you sooner."

"You're not. You're not sorry. You weren't going to tell us," I said, tears coming.

Dad was quiet. "No, I wasn't."

"When were you going to? Were we going to find out like we found out about mom, we come home from school, and suddenly its like 'Dad's dead, is pasta okay for dinner?'"

"Lorelai, please be rational-"

"I'm not going to be rational! Tristan and I are about to loose the only parent we have left, and you're telling me to be _rational_!"

Dad was silent. I threw my arms around him. "Dad… I don't want you to die… don't leave us…"

He hugged me back. "I don't want to. But its something you'll have to expect. When I die, Luke and Lorelai will be your legal guardians. If anything happens to them, you go to Paris and Jess or Lane and Henry."

"I-Is that why you gave me the journal?"

He nodded. "I'm sorry if for the past years I haven't been the best dad. But, I'm trying to make things different now." "You should have tried to make things different a long time ago."

"I know."

"Does Tristan know anything?"

"No. I kept it from the both of you. I didn't think anything would really happen… not until a few days ago. I thought it would pass."

"A tumor isn't a fever."

"No, it's not."

"Are you scared?"

"I'm scared of what will happen to you two."

"Are you scared of dying?"

"No."

"Do you want to?"

"Of course no-" I looked at my dad expectantly knowing what his answer would be. He sighed. "In a way, a very selfish way, yes."

I knew what he was talking about. Dad probably wouldn't ever have moved on… or at least tried to move on after mom's death if it wasn't for Tristan and I. He welcomed it because it was a way to see mom again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been twenty minutes since dad told Tristan about his tumor, and eighteen minutes since Tristan had stormed out of the house, not saying a word. It had been seventeen minutes since dad ran out after him, and five minutes since they've been talking in the guest room.

I was in the living room with grandma and grandma where we were all pointedly _not_ trying to hear what was going on inside. Uh huh. We were all in the living room, with the TV on, but on very low volume, pretending we were interested in the Oompa Loompas dancing on stage, but really we were all straining to hear what my dad and brother had been talking about. They came out a few minutes later. Dad didn't say anything but hugged me and kissed me good-bye before getting into his car and driving to work. Strange how he still worked.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Did you suspect anything?" I asked my brother that night. We were in his room this time, I had gone in to talk to my brother about his talk with my dad.

Tristan looked away. "Now that I think about it, he was... more distracted, and sometimes when he'd be yelling at me he'd loose focus, and say something different altogether. Didn't you remember anything?"

"Hello, ignoring me," I retorted. But... "Well, there was once I was up late, and I used the computer in his study to print because my printer had no more ink... he walked in a few hours later, and called me 'Rory.' He started talking to me, like I was mom... I'm not sure if it was the tumor..."

Tristan looked back at me, and looked down. "Well you do look a lot like her..."

"I know."

"I wonder if she's up there, watching everything down here."

"Of course she is."

"I wish she wasn't."

That made me look at my brother strangely. Why? "Why?" I asked.

"Grandpa was right. If mom was here now... god, I wonder what she'd think of me."

I opened my mouth to reply, when dad came in.

"There you two are. What are you doing?"

"Reading mom's journal," my brother answered.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Join right in," I replied, scooting over to make room for dad on the bed. 

He sat down and we opened the journal. I saw Dad glance at the family picture that Tristan kept in his room. It was taken when Tristan was about ten. We were in Star's Hollow... for mom's birthday. Dad looked away from the picture, and turned his eyes to the journal, and started reading.


	4. A New Story

Disclaimer: Nothing's changed. I still don't own anything, and I'm still not making money from this story.

****

**Reliving the Past**

**Chapter Four**

****

Sept. 23

The date with Tristan was okay. Really, it was. He wasn't in the least bit a jerk. Well, he did call me Mary, but I don't mind so much. It makes me feel like there's something in this Harvard world that I'm still familiar with.

He was really sweet, I learned there was more that went through his mind then girls and getting into trouble. It turns out he likes books too- and will never admit it to anyone. Kinda like Jess. Anyway, that's good because he has 'The War of the Worlds.' I'm borrowing it from him. 

He asked me out again… and I said yes.

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Dad smiled. "She never gave the book back until we were married. When we first got married, she had to donate some of her books, because I had doubles of them. I remember the day. She said good-bye to each one, and kissed them before we donated them."

"Sounds like mom," Tristan replied. 

Dad nodded. "Kooky, sweet and beautiful."

I found the greatest coffee place! It's this little out of the way café, it's small, cozy, and they have the greatest coffee in the world. It even beats Luke's! Not that I'd ever tell him that. The café's called Warehouse. I don't know why, though.

Anyway, it's in the end of the day, and I'm at Warehouse, enjoying a cup of steamy goodness. In other news, I formed a study group in my French class. It makes things so much easier. It was in fact, one of them who told me about it. Her name is Pam. It's not the coffee she comes for though, it's the vegetarian meals – I don't know how she can stand it – and the hot chocolate and croissants at night. The croissants are great! But when it comes to chocolate cake and danishes, I turn to the little old town of Star's Hollow to a little place called Luke's.

Paris has gone vegetarian. I brought her here tonight, and she's off chatting with Jess on her cellphone. She'll take an hour probably… it's no

Wonders really do happen. Guess who showed up about two hours ago while I was in the café? Jess! Can't write… just dropping this stuff off, Paris insisted that I go with her so that she wouldn't be tempted into getting together again with Jess. Hmph. I can already predict what'll happen. We'll sit, there'll be uncomfortable silence, then Jess will ask Paris to dance. Of course, I am left as the third wheel.

Sept. 25

I can't believe last night! There I was, expecting to be third wheel again, when just my luck, Matthew, a classmate from a couple of my class showed up. We talked on and on. I never realized how much I had in common with him. Would you believe he had the same coffee addiction? He's not so much a reader, so we didn't talk about books much, but we talked about Kent, his high school, and Chilton, we talked about his family and mine, we talked about flying, Europe- he told me so much about Europe, I so want to go there!- I could go on and on! He asked me to dance… and at the end of the night, he asked me for a date on Saturday. It was strange but, I thought of Tristan before answering. And it was almost as if he heard my thoughts because I heard his voice and thought I was hallucinating, but with a few hasty words to Matt, (he was rude, actually…) he pulled me away for a dance. I was at a loss for words. It wasn't like Tristan to be so possessive over me, and I quickly found out why he got me as quick as he did. With a fervent, 'Rory, you are my savior,' he explained the whole thing.  It turns out there was someone there who refused to leave him alone, and he said he was taken, conveniently seeing me, and using me as his excuse.  

"Did she ever date Matthew?" I asked Dad.

Dad shook his head. "Well… once. To make me jealous."

Tristan smirked. "Did it work?"

"Like a charm." Dad looked at his watch. "Look kids, it's late, and even if it's the weekend, I think it'd be better if you guys got some rest. Good night."

No good night kiss or hug, he just left the room. Well… I didn't expect much.

I walked into school to find there was a new girl in my level. A new girl transferring a month into the school year was rare. Recess period, that's when all the info came out. She was extremely smart and would have gotten a scholarship into Chilton, but unfortunately something had gone wrong with her papers… she got something late. It turns out her parents threatened to sue or something… there was this big misunderstanding with the school board, but she got the scholarship in the end. 

I was watching her eating alone, and right away I pitied her. She wasn't used to these people, who were nice to their own kind, and subtly- sometimes not so subtly, rude to others. Actually, the first year of Chilton is scary for everyone. Freshmen- mostly scholars, people they call 'charity cases' they don't like go through initiation, which is a humiliating or potentially dangerous situation. It never happened to me, mostly because of my big brother. He was a junior that time… popular, rich, good-looking…. Everyone knew he was my brother. I really think it was because he beat up that guy who tried to hit on me my first day in school. 

I glanced at my brother and his friends. I wonder what they'd do to this girl.

I went to my fifth period class, History. I sat down in my normal seat, and took out and started reviewing my notes. In the middle of the Age of Exploration and the Age of enlightenment, I looked up to see her looking around nervously, then coming in to sit in the chair beside me. I looked at my notes again.

The girl was pretty, she had dark brown hair, green eyes, flawless skin, good figure… I wondered how smart she was. Did I have competition? The teacher came in and started discussing where we left off. 

People who are used to Chilton know how to take notes. Everyone writes in some form of shorthand on long yellow legal pad, and copies their notes that night down on their real notebook. She obviously needed help. She was writing like mad, but the teacher was already discussing the next part of the lesson. Oh well. 

I went to my locker, to find her again beside me. She was having trouble opening her locker. I decided to be nice. She looked nice enough. 

"It helps if you hit it right above the lock after putting in the combination." I demonstrated. It opened. 

She smiled at me in relief. "Thanks."

I nodded. "I'm Lorelai DuGrey. Aren't you in my History class?"

"Yeah. I'm Stephanie Parker."

"Nice to meet you."

I started to turn away, but she called me back. "I was wondering, the teachers all said it would be helpful… if I could borrow your notes?"

I frowned. My notes? Though, me being me, I'm not exactly sure, but somehow "Sure. Get them from me after last period. I'll meet you here," came out of my mouth. I saw Will looking at me. "I've got to go. See you later!" I turned and walked towards Will.

"So?" Will asked. "What was she like?" 

What was she like. That was a loaded question. At Chilton, a lot is based on superficial things. How many cars, how many houses, how pretty, what your parents do… if you couldn't compete, you weren't fit to be in Chilton. At least that's how people make you feel. 

I kept my answer simple. I knew she wanted to hear more but… "Nice enough."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Think she'll be competition?"

I shifted my books from one arm to the other. "She borrowed my notes."

Willow glared at me. "Why didn't you say no?"

"I was being nice?" 

"You're never going to get to Harvard with an attitude like that. Too much brains, and too little determination."

"I have plenty determination!"

Wllow rolled her eyes... again. "Then you're too nice." 

"Being nice isn't a crime!"

After dinner, I walked to my room, quickly finished my homework, and went to my dad's room. I raided the fridge, found some snacks, and brought them to the den. It was a habit of mine, and my mom's. At night, we would both go get food, grab a book, and read in the den on comfy, squishy couches. After mom died, I didn't anymore, but about two years ago, I started doing it again. 

I guess I started doing it again, because when she died, it was like she completely disappeared. There were no more pictures of her and the family scattered all around the house, just paintings… all the stuff she'd buy and put somewhere even though it clashed horribly with the room were all put away… there were no more monthly trips to whatever new place my mom discovered… no more late night talks or midnight snacks… no more coffee brewing every hour of the day and night.

I missed her. By doing it, it was like keeping her alive somehow.

But tonight, I was reading a different story, a story I'd never heard before. I was reading hers.

September 27

I can't believe how nice Tristan is being. He gave me roses, as a thank you for that night. When he dropped them off my roommate Kathy answered the door, and was really flirting with him. I felt a little uncomfortable. I did every time I did in Chilton, because I knew he deserved better, but even though Kathy was really nice… I guess it's just habit.

            Of course, after Tristan left, Kathy started grilling me. How did I know Tristan? How long have we known each other? Is he taken? Are we together? For some reason, it really annoyed me. 

            I looked up at dad. "When did you fall in love with her?"

            "By that time, I was head over heels," he answered with a wistful smile.

To Be Continued…

Author's Note: I'm alive. I wasn't abducted by funny little green men, or mysteriously swallowed by the TV. I was never in a coma, nor had amnesia. 

Author's Note2: The updates to my other stories should be here soon. This is my favorite story among all those I've written, the only one that I felt satisfied with, so, this gets updated first. So… hope you guys enjoyed it. =)

Author's Note3: No flames please, not unless it's constructive criticism. And definitely, no flames from people who have nothing better to do, and just want to try flaming. MIG, MY PESKY LITTLE COUSIN, THIS MEANS YOU. Or the Purple Goddess of Love will come after you. 


	5. New Adventures

Disclaimer: GG not mine. No money. Me broke.

Reliving the Past: Chapter Five

"Lorelai!"

I spun around. When I saw her, it was too late to pretend I hadn't heard her. Stephanie Parker… the self-imposed exile of the class. She thinks I'm the only levelheaded person around. Not true. I'm just the only one wiling to speak to her. I lend her my notes, she tells the teachers how nice I am, I'm happy. That's it. That's our entire relationship. I plaster on a fake smile that doesn't reach my eyes. "Hey Stephanie."

"I just wanted to say, thanks for the notes…" she hands them over to me.

The corners of my mouth quirked in what could be called a smile. "You're welcome." I walked away from her quickly.

Stephanie has been in this school for a month now. She wasn't picked on, she was ignored. She's not stupid; she knows she has no friends here. I don't think she cares actually. What she _does_ care about is her schoolwork. If she could, I think she would prefer not talking to anyone in this school.

I walked over to Willow. She could probably tell what I was feeling from my expression. She looked at me sympathetically.

"Another run-in with Ms. Small-town-valedictorian-wannabe?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I swear… she's caught up now! She'd never have done it without my notes…"

"Here's a thought," Willow said mockingly. "You could… gasp… not lend her your notes!"

"But… that's rude!"

Willow gave an exasperated snort. "You are a strange mix of niceness and sneakiness."

I smirked (Hey, reminder… Tristan's my brother.). "Makes me original."

She groaned. "Let's get going."

We walked to class… but what I saw on my way there made me stop in my tracks.

"Your brother's on the move again…" Willow murmured.

My brother was hitting on Stephanie. 

He was leaning against her, trapping her against the lockers. She was trying very hard not to look intimidated.

Then, for some strange reason, I did something I never did before. 

"Tristan!"

My brother looked at me, and shot me a surprised look. I hardly ever called him in school. We moved in two completely different circles. Willow turned to me too, surprised. 

"Go ahead Will, I want to talk to Tristan…" I whispered.

She nodded and walked into the classroom, still looking confused.

I walked to them, and Tristan straightened up, looking guilty, for God knows what reason. It wasn't as if I'd never see him do that before.

I glanced at Stephanie. 

"I'll… be going now…" she stuttered, and walked past Tristan into her next classroom. 

Tristan folded his arms and leaned against the lockers, watching her go into her classroom. I stood my ground, and watched her leave.

When she went in, I picked up my bag, and went in.

"Lorelai!"

I spun around. "What?"

Tristan looked at me strangely. "Why did you call me?"

"I wasn't calling you, I was saving you… or saving her…" I shrugged.  "I don't know. I was saving someone."

"What?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'll talk to you later, I've got to go to class."

"Lor, it's still ten minutes till the start of class."

"I have to review my notes!"

Tristan looked at me strangely. 

"What!?"

"Nothing. See you later."

I walked into my classroom. Not surprisingly, only Will, Stephanie, and two other people were there.

I sat down in my seat in between Willow and Stephanie. I turned to my left where Stephanie was reviewing her notes.

"Stephanie?"

She looked up, surprised. "Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say… don't take Tristan's flirting seriously. He rarely means it." 

Actually, I don't think he ever did. I said this all without a smile on my face… I rarely smile at her. Actually, I rarely smile, period. I don't think I've ever felt the need to smile since dad broke the news.

"Umm… I have a boyfriend, so you shouldn't worry. Tristan is safe from me."

I shrugged and turned to face the front. 

*

"I cannot believe you. Hitting on the new girl?" I confronted Tristan angrily when I met him next to his car.

He leaned back, an eyebrow raised. "Lor, what is up with you? You never said anything about the girls I dated."

"Maybe it's time I did. Tristan… don't you see how wrong it is? She's the new girl, the one not worth anything!"

"So why are you getting so worked up about it? I know you don't like her."

"No, I don't… but I'm worried about you Tristan."

Tristan looked like he was trying not to laugh. "I'm not the one in danger."

"I mean it. When are you going to stop playing with all these girls and get a decent girlfriend?"

"Why should I?" He was getting defensive. Okay… bad move. I was the only one he talked to… if he shut me out…

"Did Dad put you up to this?"

"What? No!"

"Was it Luke? Grandma?"

"No, Tristan. This is I, Lorelai, asking you to be what you could be."

"Something tells me we're not talking about girls anymore." 

I had kept my thoughts about Tristan to myself for the longest time. Something inside me snapped and I let him have it. About how he didn't care about grades and probably wouldn't get into a decent college, about how he played with so many girls, and how hard it was for me to trust anyone because of him, because they all wanted to be his friend or date him… I yelled at him because of how he treated dad, how he treated Luke and Grandma… and let's not even get started on grandmother and grandfather. All those little things that I let slide, I brought up again.

"…it's not fair to anyone, Tristan!"

He was shocked. He didn't say anything. I never got mad, much less get angry at him. At his hurt expression, I wanted to apologize, but I didn't. I knew I was right.

I sighed, and got into the car. We drove wordlessly to the house. 

*

I went straight to my room, and right away went to read mom's journal. It was my habit. I had read a little every day… it had been a month since I got the journal and things just kept getting more interesting. 

Since last month, in the Mom's journal escapades, Paris and Jess had gotten together, and Dad and Mom… well let's just say I'm glad Dad doesn't do subtle so well. Otherwise I don't think I would ever have been born. Talk about clueless. There are sometimes where dad is practically declaring 'I love you, take me, I'm yours forever,' and still she doesn't get it. 

January 1 

_Oh my god. That's all I can say… never mind talking, that's all I can think since last night. Tristan and I went to that New Year's Eve party hosted by his grandparents like we planned. I saw grandma and grandpa at the party, and although mom was supposed to come, she didn't. Grandma said she was sure mom would have come if she had known I would be here._

_Anyway, here's the story. The whole crazy story. Tristan and I arrived at Hartford and of course, we had to go greet the host and hostess. So we made our way over to his grandparents, who surprisingly were chatting with mine. _

_Sounds normal right? Nothing so bad happening yet… okay… so, at first it was all fine… how-are-you's, you're-the-spitting-image-of's, you're-so-big's… and then Tristan and I excuse ourselves and go dance._

_Now all that was perfectly fine, no bad, all good. So, it's nearly the end of the party… and get this… we go to the library, and suddenly, Tristan's kissing me… and I thought that would be the most shocking thing in my day. So we break apart, and oddly I find myself at a loss for words. Tristan looked… scared after. As if he was afraid I'd run off… again. So, surprising even myself, I was the one who started the next kiss._

_What Tristan told me was unforgettable. Until now I can recite it word for word. It went something like… okay, I know writing this down will make this journal seem like a trashy romance novel but it's my journal and I'll write what I like._

_"Rory… I have a confession to make. I've loved you since high school. I don't know when I did… at first you were just the new girl, then suddenly… you were everything. As corny as it may sound, you made me who I am today. You changed me. I hated myself for leaving without telling you what I really felt, and when I saw you at Harvard… Rory, I can't tell you how much that meant to me. And when you started spending more time with me… Ror, being with you… It taught me to hope… as I had never allowed myself to hope before."  _

_And then we were kissing again… more intensely._

_That wasn't horrible, it was very nice actually. I have no idea how long it lasted but suddenly, Tristan stopped short and I had no idea why. (Here comes the horrible.) I opened my eyes to find my grandparents and his staring at us. They had been in the library the whole time. _

_That wasn't even the worst part yet. _

_There I am, stammering, trying to think of a suitable apology… Tristan not helping anything, he was just standing there staring at his grandfather… and get this… they were SMILING._

_Grandma's comment: I can't wait to plan the wedding. _

_Grandpa's comment: So much better than Dean._

_Tristan's grandfather: DuGrey and Gilmore… a match made in heaven. Think of the fortune._

_Tristan's grandmother: I can't wait to plan the wedding._

_Tristan: embarrassed or stunned silence_

_Me: …_

_Within the next few minutes we were all seated at the dining table, discussing future wedding dates, number of kids, possible places to live… even talking about a merger between Gilmore Enterprises and DuGrey Corporation. _

_God… then they started talking about what schools our kids would go to. For high school, Tristan's grandparents wanted that military school Tristan went to… my grandparents wanted them to go to Chilton… For college, grandpa wanted Yale… Tristan's grandfather wanted Princeton. _

_After, they started talking about names… don't even get me started on the arguments. _

_Don't even get me started on the wedding. Grandma wanted an Elizabethan theme, Tristan's grandmother wanted Victorian… the grandfathers wanted traditional. The one thing they were all in agreement on in terms of the wedding was BIG. They all wanted a huge wedding. Grandma wanted to show off probably, and Tristan's grandmother was probably thinking the same thing. Grandpa and Tristan's grandfather wanted the publicity. _

_When things couldn't get worse, Tristan's parents came in. When the story came out Tristan's dad started in with the business, all these new developments that could be done... Tristan's mom joined right in with our grandmothers, talking about my dress, the theme, the motif… right down to the caterers and florists. They were even talking about flower girls!_

_Tristan and I just sat there, too mortified to do anything. In between the debate between white and pink roses, and Gilmore-DuGrey Incorporated and DuGrey-Gilmore Incorporated, Tristan finally snapped._

_He raised his voice to be heard over the din. This was another of his memorable speeches for the night. "People! We're not planning whether to send our kids to Princeton, Harvard, or Yale, we're not planning how many kids… as a matter of fact; we're not planning on having kids. We're not even planning to get married. We're not engaged. In no way are we planning a future."_

_Of course he was ignored. "Do be quiet, Tristan, I'm in the middle of an important discussion. Richard, don't you see, it should be DuGrey-Gilmore. Tristan is the male heir, and will run it eventually. Therefore, the DuGrey name should be more…"_

_That entire planning session took four hours. I thought old people got tired right away, apparently not. They scheduled their next meeting, their agenda… and on their next meeting, my mom and dad were supposed to be present. They had to know whether the Haydens wanted in on this too. _

_They made us stay for the next couple of days, ignoring our protests that we had class. (Which we didn't. Not until Jan. 7. They saw right through that.)_

_So, my grandparents took me home, and Tristan went home with his parents. You'd think that with all the wedding talk, they'd give us time alone, but no. They whisked us off saying something about bad luck before the wedding. I had barely touched Tristan when grandma pulled me away, told me to say good-bye and we were out the door. _

_It's six in the morning now, and I am still completely shocked._

_My cell phone is ringing. It's Tristan. _

*

I closed the book with a smile.  


	6. Fate Works In Strange Ways

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything.

Dinner was very quiet. It usually was… unless Dad and Tristan were yelling at each other. I slowly twirled my fork and pasta. Our cook made terrific carbonara. Strangely, it was dad who broke the silence.

"You won't be going to school this Wednesday," he said quietly. "I've already arranged it with the Headmaster."

I fidgeted, stared at my plate, and voiced a tiny, 'oh'. Wednesday. November 9. Mom's fifth year death anniversary.

My brother spoke quietly, no taunting or cocky tone. "Are we staying in Star's Hollow?"

Dad nodded. "You two will drive there after school on Tuesday, you should… bring your things… and another uniform."

There was another uncomfortable silence. I glanced at the empty place beside dad. Mom's place. It was always set.

I know Dad goes to her grave everyday before work. He talks to her, leaves flowers… I know I shouldn't be feeling this, I know I should want him to be happy, but I'm glad he won't let her go. I don't think I could stand his dating someone else. I don't even want to think about what Tristan would do if Dad did.

I go there when I have the time, when I want to think. When I really miss her. Which is a lot. I bump into Dad a lot there too. I remember once when she told me that when I graduated from high school, she'd take me on a trip around the world. Just the two of us… and of course, she had so many contacts and knew where all the good places were from her days as a model and overseas correspondent. But she's not going to see me graduate.

But Tristan… I don't think he's been there since her funeral. Even at her funeral… Tristan refused to look at the casket. He stayed firmly in his seat. He gave in and went closer when Dad asked him too… but when he reached it, he kept his eyes shut until they closed the casket. 

To this day, both Dad and Tristan refuse to drink if they're going to be driving. It's a really big issue with them. Tristan rarely drinks actually. He smokes, I know… I've caught him. Drugs… I don't think so. Drinking… actually, I don't think he drinks at all. Sure, he takes wine… we have to at all those fancy dinner parties we're brought to… but beer… no. Definite no.

"And… Lorelai… don't forget your mom's journal," Dad said haltingly.

"I won't."

And it was silent after that. Just the clinking of knives and forks were left.

I remembered when mom was still alive, there would always be someone ranting, whether it was dad about work, or mom about an impossible colleague, or Tristan about school, or me about a kid I was fighting with… and of course there were funny stories, never a dull moment. 

I'm proud to say we weren't spoiled at all… although we both did our fair share of whining and pleading. I guess by the time mom died we couldn't be spoiled anymore. Because, now dad spoils us. Well, he doesn't pay attention to us, so his compensation is buying and giving us whatever we want. Neither Tristan nor I take advantage of that. We ask for what we need. 

*

January 3 

Okay, developments. Apparently, we are going to have three kids. Two boys, one girl… preferably one eldest boy, and then twins. Their names will be Tristan James DuGrey, Sebastian Edward DuGrey, and Tatiana Elizabeth DuGrey. They will be called Tristan, Sebastian, and Tasha. They will study at Chilton, then take college at Harvard. Tristan will take business, Sebastian will take law, and Tatiana will take medicine. Tristan will eventually head the business, Sebastian will start his own law firm… to be called DuGrey… and something, that's still being argued about.

Something a little closer, it looks like we'll be getting married a year after we graduate. It's going to be a big wedding, I'll have to convert to Catholicism (I didn't even know that Tristan was Catholic.) That was a very long debate. Colors will be blue and silver. The theme is still to be decided. My wedding gown is to be designed by prominent fasion designer… I forgot the name, but he's a good friend of Mrs. DuGrey.

On the topic of location, it looks like Tristan will be inheriting the DuGrey house, and my grandparents house will belong to my daughter. Sebastian will get the house in San Fransisco.

My mom was present at this meeting, and she kept butting in with helpful comments and suggestions like, 'Why don't you combine all those names to make a really long name? Tatiana Elizabeth Alexandra Victoria Sandrine? Can't you just see it? When Rory gets mad? That'd be so cute!'  

She couldn't stop teasing me about my upcoming nupitals.

She kept asking Tristan if she could see the rings.

Needless to say, things have been getting worse.

January 5

Tristan finally snapped out of his shocked phase. To get everyone's attention at the meeting, he calmly announced that he was gay and was going to become a porn star. He apologized to me for stopping the wedding, but he was very in love with his boyfriend Chuck, and they were planning on adopting a child… one child, to be named A. No last name, no middle name. Just A. She would be homeschooled. It would be a small wedding, with a jungle theme. He was going as Tarzan.

He said this all with a perfectly straight face.

I couldn't stop laughing.

I stopped reading for a second, and smiled. Dad? Claiming he was gay? Oh my god. I turned to see him leaning against my door with two mugs in hand.

"What's so funny?" He handed me the mug in his other hand and sat down beside me on the bed.

I took one look at him and started laughing again, picturing him in a Jane outfit.

"Okay… Lor, I'm going to take away that coffee…"

"No!" I squealed, still trying to stop laughing.

I managed.

For about two seconds.

"Lorelai… what is so funny?"

"Tarzan."

Dad grimaced. "In my defense, it seemed the only thing suitable to get their attention of the wedding. At the time, we weren't even officially dating, much less engaged."

But I wasn't listening. I was laughing, first at my dad stating he was gay, then at my great-grandparents, and grandparents reactions, then at my dad in a Tarzan suit.

He frowned. "It wasn't that funny."

I started laughing again.

"Okay… it was…" dad was looking desperate. "Okay… Lorelai… please stop laughing."

After laughing some more, I finally stopped, and we finally were able to talk. Ever since… what happened happened, dad hadn't been ignoring me so much. He would go into my room with hot chocolate when I was younger and we would talk. When mom would do that she would bring coffee. Dad would try to pry it away from us… it worked with Tristan but not with me.

We were talking about the new Spritz commercial for some strange reason when Tristan passed by my room. We saw him walk past and heard the door slam.

Dad turned back to me. "I wonder what your bro-" he trailed off. "Lorelai… you're looking guilty. What is it?"

I looked at the floor. "I kind of blew up at Tristan," I said in a small voice.

"You? Why, Mary?" my dad asked gently.

Mary. He hasn't called me that since… well, since mom died.

"It's just…" I sighed. "Please don't get mad at me?"

My dad frowned. "Me get mad at you? Ms. Perfect Child? What did you do that needs forgiveness?"

I looked down. "I saw Tristan hitting on the new kid at school… and, well after I got mad at him for that."

"That's understandable. I mean, if he was making her uncomfortable…"

"But… I don't know, something just made me bring up stuff that I kept pent up… things I didn't even know were bothering me."

"Like what?" he asked, still gently.

"Some stuff I got mad at him for was well, deserved… like how he treated everyone… but then… I started saying how hard it was to make friends… real friends because of him…  I mean, I can't believe I accused him of making high school harder for me. He was nothing but good to me in school, made sure nothing happened to me… it wasn't my fault that he was popular…"

"Well, Lorelai… what you accused him of was uncalled for…" my dad said delicately. "But, you did have a point when you talked about how he treated other people. You know, I think you should talk to him. Resolve whatever issues you have… because it's better not to keep secrets from each other."

I looked at the floor again.

My dad sighed. "Look, Lorelai… it's not like you're dating. You're family. He's not going to stay mad at you forever."

I sighed. "You're right."

"You still haven't said you'll talk to him."

"I don't want to confront him! I'm a non-confrontational person!"

Dad shrugged. "Lorelai, I told you what you needed to do."

"But…"

"Good night, Lorelai." He kissed my forehead and went out.

I looked across the hall to my brother's door. No. No way was I going in there. 

* 

It was Monday. After lots of begging, Dad drove me to school. I really couldn't face Tristan. I walked to my locker, when I saw Stephanie. She was staring at something… someone. She lookec curious. I turned to look. It was Tristan. Tristan wasn't with any girl, just moodily taking books out of his locker.

She caught me looking at her and went back to whatever she was doing.

*

"… and so class, remember, this project will be your second long test. I suggest you do this well, because I was very disappointed with your first long test. This is your chance to pull those horrible grades up."

Ms. James had given the results of our first long test… and nearly everyone had gotten low scores. Probably because the night before, Lydia Anderson had thrown a party. I got an A. Stephanie got a B-. Nearly everyone else got lower. Willow got a B. 

"This project will be done by pairs. Anderson and Dalton. Simpson and Carter. DuGrey and Parker…"

I stopped listening. Stephanie? Why me.

Stephanie turned to me. "We should start planning right away… is Wednesday all right?"

I looked away. "Wednesday's not good for me. How about tomorrow instead? Is it okay if we stay at your place?"

She frowned. "It's all right… but it's a thirty minute drive to my town from Hartford."

"It's all right. You live in Littleton right?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I'll be in Star's Hollow… or at least, I'm going to Star's Hollow. It's only a ten minute drive from there to Littleton."

"Oh… okay."

She gave me her address, directions, saying something about Rusty, an old barn, and a windmill. 

Stephanie looked at me thoughtfully. "You know, I think I should warn you… the minute you step into that town, people will be staring at you, looking at you, trying to figure you out."

I shrugged. "Typical small town."

"Right… well, don't say I didn't warn you. Oh… and prepare yourself for my mom. She's… eccentric."

I felt a rush of envy for this girl. I nearly hated her. But I contained myself. I kept my answer light. 

"I consider myself warned."

The bell rang, and we walked out of class. Someone grabbed me aside. It was Tristan.

My eyes widened. I looked to the side, and Willow was there, staring at me and Tristan… as well as Stephanie. 

Tristan's voice was controlled. "Willow, could you give me a minute with Lorelai?"

Will turned to me, eye brows raised. Unspoken question. Should I?

I nodded. "I'll be there in a second."

Will nodded and with a last suspicious glance, turned away.

I looked at the floor.

Tristan spoke first. "Did you really mean what you said yesterday? How I made high school harder for you?"

I was filled with remorse. I looked up at him. "No! No you didn't!"

Tristan just looked at me.

"Maybe… just a little."

"I'm sorry then."

I looked down, then looked up at him. It was now or never. "Tristan… I'm so sorry for what I said the other day. I didn't mean it… you're not a horrible person, you're the best friend anyone could ask for."

I said friend, not brother. It was true. We were best friends as well as siblings. I think I'm the only true friend that Tristan has. The people he hangs around with are like his… groupies. 

"Actually Lor, you know perfectly well that you're right. I do treat people… with less respect than they deserve. You're only apologizing because I'm angry at you, and you hate it when anyone's angry at you."

I looked down.

"And I love you for it."

I looked up tentatively at Tristan.

He smirked at me. "Isn't your neck starting to hurt from looking up and down?"

I grinned sheepishly. "Am I forgiven?"

"If you'll forgive me." He put an arm around my shoulders.

"Good." My smile grew wider. "Cause I have a favor to ask."

"Name it."

"Can you drive me to Littleton tomorrow?"

My brother frowned. "Doesn't Stephanie Parker live in Littleton?"

I sighed. "Yup. I have a project to work on with her. Can you drop me off at her house?"

There was an indescribable expression on my brother's face. I don't know if he was annoyed, happy… "All right. Do we go to Star's Hollow first or Littleton?" 

"Drop me off at her house, and I'll call when I'm done so you can pick me up."

He nodded. "See you."

I turned to go to my next class, when I saw Stephanie standing by the lockers, near where Tristan and I had been talking. I continued walking. She probably heard the whole thing. Oh well. 

*

Study Hall. I glanced at the clock. I finished the homework I needed for the next day… there was still about ten minutes left. I pulled out mom's journal and started reading.

The good news was that they stopped talking about the wedding. The bad news was that they threatened to disown Tristan. The worst news, was after they found out Tristan's announcement wasn't serious, they started planning for the wedding again.

I wonder how they'd react if we really were getting married.

I closed the journal. It just didn't feel right reading it in school. I didn't get to laugh or call dad when I reached a funny part. I asked the teacher if I could leave early, and thankfully, she agreed. I said I had to go to the bathroom, and by the time I would be done, this period would probably be over too.  

"…whipped cream, chocolate, and Stephanie…"

I froze. That sounded like my brother.

"I'm ignoring you, Tristan."

"You wound me. Do you no longer have any need for me at all?"

"I'm sorry I ever asked for your help."

Okay… that was Tristan and Stephanie. I stayed where I was, I didn't want to get involved in… that.

"Face it, you need me."

"No, I don't." Exasperated sigh. "Can I have my bag back please?" 

"May."

"What?"

"May, not can."

"Whatever! May I have my bag back please?"

"No. What kind of a man would I be if I left a damsel in distress?"

"Look, I really need my bag."

"Class doesn't start for another fifteen minutes!"

"I'm serious. I need to go."

"And deprive yourself of my company? What ever is the matter, Stephie?"

"For the nth time, it's not Stephie, it's not Steph, it's not Annie, it's Stephanie."

"Of course, beautiful."

"Tristan… my bag, please?"

"Only because you said please."

Okay… that was my cue. I walked past them, just when Stephanie had her bag back. Tristan looked guilty… again. Stephanie looked horrified. I wonder why.

Author's Note: People, please, please, please, please REVIEW!!!! I'm dying here! Not literally… but please, I need more to go on!!!!


	7. Very Strange Ways

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, it belongs to the WB. And I used a quote from Buffy here, too. I don't own Buffy!

Author's Note: Okay, that beg for reviews was very selfish of me. I'm sane again. ^_^. This story will keep on going… but people, remember, the more reviews the faster these chapters will come. And there's less chances of me disappearing again. ;)

Anyway, before we start I want to thank each and everyone of my reviewers, thank you for being so supportive. I know what's going to happen with the Tristans already, but I have no idea what to do with Lorelai! Suggestions and ideas would be much appreciated. 

About the format of the journals… they _were_ in italics when I wrote them, but when I upload it to ff.net, it's not anymore! I'll try to make it clearer next time.

Oh… and in no way is Rory Stephanie's mother! That's sick! I am not a fan of incest! Lorelai was just reminded of Rory because Stephanie's mom was kind of like Rory.

On with the show! Er… story!

Reliving the Past

Chapter Seven

Tuesday. Last period. I was nervously fiddling with a strand of my hair. The teacher kept going on and on… saying something about the limits of infinity. When the bell rang five minutes later, I couldn't have been more scared.

I walked to Tristan's car, he was already in the driver's seat waiting. He looked at me annoyed. "What took you so long?"

I just shrugged and got into the passenger's seat.

We drove in silence for about twenty minutes. 

I saw a sign saying 'Welcome to Littleton.' I glanced around the town. It was very picturesque. People were bustling about, doing their business… of course, many of them were staring at Tristan's car… and at us. 

When we finally reached her house, I realized something. "Tristan… I never gave you Stephanie's address. How did you know where to find her house?"

Tristan just smirked. "That little sister, is for me to know and you to find out." Tristan glanced outside. "You know, I think I'll just wait here for you."

I frowned. "In the car?"

"In town." He grinned. "I think I'll go to that minimart down there."

I wondered why he looked like he was up to something. "Don't get in to trouble."

Tristan scoffed. "Me? Get in trouble? Why, Lorelai, why would you think something like that?"

I got out of the car and frowned. "Be good."

Tristan just smirked, and drove away. 

I rang the doorbell. A pretty woman came to the door. "You must be the NIQ," she smiled as she said it.

"NIQ?" 

"Nice Ice Queen. I'm April Parker, Stephanie's mom, please don't call me Mrs. Parker, it makes me feel a hundred years old. Call me April."

"Good Afternoon, April," I told her, trying to smile, but failing horribly. Something about her… it struck too close to home. It was… Times like these I really missed having a mom. Not missing Mom, missed having one. I miss Mom all the time.

"You're prettier than I expected. You know-"

"Mom!" I looked behind April, Stephanie was bounding down the stairs. 

Stephanie grabbed my arm, and yanked me towards the living room. "Lorelai and I will be in the living room!" she called.

Once I was seated and she checked to make sure her mom wasn't eavesdropping, she turned to me sheepishly. "Sorry about my mom."

I nodded. "I wonder what she'll say about Tristan."

"What makes you think she'll have something to say about Tristan?"

"He's picking me up. He dropped me off here, in fact."

Her eyes widened. "Tristan is _here_? In this _town_?"

"Um, yeah. Why?"

"Please tell me he's no where near the grocery…"

"I think he said he was going to the minimart…"

"Minimart?" She looked confused. "There _is_ no minimart… oh god. I have to go…"

My eyes widened. "Go? Excuse me, major project due next week!"

But she wasn't listening to me. She was already rushing out the door. I grabbed my jacket and followed her. "Stephanie! Where are you going? We have a project. Tristan at the minimart, or grocery… or whatever you call it, is not a problem!"

"Yes, it is!"

"What are you talking about?!" I yelled. She was now running. "Look, we need to plan, because we're not going to have much time. I have other things to do, not just this portfolio!"

"I'm trying to prevent a life-or-death situation!"

"A life or death situation?"

"Well… bloodshed!"

"Bloodshed? Look! Tristan is not going to hold up the minimart! Er… grocery!"

But when we reached the grocery, there was a crowd gathered. We quickly made our way through. Two men were trying to pull two guys apart. One had dark hair, was pale, and had a black eye… and the other was Tristan, I realized with dismay, who looked worse off. I froze, not knowing what to do. Stephanie ran to them. "Zach! Stop it! Tristan! Enough!!!"

After more struggling, they were finally pried apart.

I watched Tristan's face as Stephanie ran to- I'm assuming- her boyfriend. It looked like he hated the guy. 

I ran to my brother, and I led him outside, to the car, ignoring all the stares we were getting. I grabbed the keys from his pocket, unlocked the door, and pushed him into the back seat. Strangely, he did it all without saying anything. Just looking murderous. I went to passenger's seat and opened the dash board. There was a first aid kit there… something mom and dad had always insisted on. 

Tristan was sporting a split lip, bruised cheek, and there was a gash on his forehead. Blood was steadily trickling down the side of his face. 

I grabbed some cotton and hydrogen peroxide and started cleaning up his wounds.

"Tristan… what on earth possessed you to do that? Who was that guy?"

"A self-righteous asshole." 

Lorelai looked at her brother, trying to figure him out. "Was he Stephanie's boyfriend?"

"I think."

"Then why were you trying to beat him up?"

"I felt like it."

I sighed. When Tristan didn't want to talk… it was like talking to a wall. Only you got more from a wall.

There were suddenly raps on the window. I rolled down the window. It was Stephanie and she was furious.

"Tristan, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Tristan smirked. "Of course." Tristan started to get out, but I elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ouch! Lor, what the hell was that for?"

I glared at Tristan. 

"Stephanie, I think it would be best if Tristan and I left."

Stephanie shot Tristan a look that clearly meant he was in for it later.

We both got out of the car, and into our respective seats. "Thank your parents for me… and tell the owner of the story to send the bill to me for whatever damages there were to the store."

Tristan started the ignition, backed up, and drove to Star's Hollow.

It wasn't until we were just outside Grandma's house that I realized something. 

"Tristan! I left my stuff at Stephanie's house!"

"I'll go back and get it now-" he said hurriedly… but trailed off as a car pulled up beside the curb. Dad. "I'm gonna go now…"

But it was too late. Dad had already gotten out of the car. 

"Tristan! What happened!" he grabbed the car door before Tristan could get in. His eyes took in Tristan's split lip and bandaged forehead.

Lorelai opened the door, but turned to look where I was looking. 

"Tristan! Sweetie… what happened to you?" she pushed past me, past dad, and led Tristan into the house. 

Dad turned to me. Uh oh. "Lorelai, what happened to your brother?"

I sighed. "Can I plead the fifth?"

Dad's gaze told me that would be a no. I took a deep breath. "He got into a fight."

"Where, about what, and how much damage do I have to pay for?"

"At a grocery in Littleton, I don't know what about, I saw a cracked window and several shelves toppled over."

Dad looked pissed.

"Dad, for what it's worth, I don't think Tristan started the fight…"

Dad still looked angry. Okay… I had to separate them. "Dad, we need to go to Littleton. I left my stuff at Stephanie's house."

Dad took one last look inside the house, where Grandma and Luke were fussing over Tristan. He nodded. "Let's go."

*

We got to Littlton a few minutes after. We went to the Parker house first. Stephanie answered the door. 

"Lorelai… what are you-"

"I sort of left my things here in the rush."

"Wait here, I'll get it for you…" a few minutes later, she came back with my stuff. 

I hoisted my backpack over my shoulders. "Look, I'm sorry about Tristan… this is just… a bad time for him, it always is. He's not always such a warfreak."

Stephanie nodded.

"Do you know how the fight started?"

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "The entire town is talking about it. It's the most exciting thing that's happened since the crazy family down the street moved in."

"Well?"

She looked at me rather gaurdedly. "Well, Tristan I think, provoked Zach. Zach didn't take it so well… Tristan pressed on. Zach punched Tristan… Tristan fought back… and we arrived."

I sighed. "Do you know who the owner of the grocery is?"

"Uh yeah… he's still there with Zach though, so you'll find him at the grocery."

I smiled. "Thanks. I'm apologizing for Tristan… Sorry."

She shrugged. "It's not supposed to come from you. It's not supposed to go to me."

I nodded, and got into the car, where dad was waiting. 

"He's still at the grocery, Dad."

Dad drove down the street, and went out the door.

I followed him. I noticed many people looked at my dad… and there was the normal, 'Who-is-this-guy?' look. Dad was all business. 

I walked to Zach. He still had a black eye, courtesy Tristan DuGrey. "Are you Zach?"

He looked at me strangely. "Do I know you?"

"I'm Stephanie's classmate, Lorelai. Would you mind pointing out the owner of this grocery?"

He gestured to a man putting cans back on a shelf. "His name is Ramon Gomez. He's nice, don't be fooled by the apron."

I gave a quick smile. "Thanks."

I walked over to dad. "Ramon Gomez, guy in the Star Trek apron."

Dad made his way to the guy. "Excuse me, are you the owner of this extablishment?"

"Yes, I am. What can I do for you?"

"My name is Tristan DuGrey, I believe my son was in a fight here this evening."

He nodded. "Yes…"

Dad looked around, and whipped out his check book. "This check should be made payable to?"

"Uh… Ramon Gomez."

My dad handed the check to him. His eyes widened. "This is more than enough-"

"The extra is for not pressing charges or reporting this."

I knew the drill. This had happened before… with the pranks my brother had pulled.

We walked out of the grocery. Zach was staring at me strangely.

Author's Note:

The quote from Buffy was the one that went 'It's like talking to a wall. Only you get more from a wall.'

Who can spot the Pride and Prejudice quote from the last chapter?

Anyway: 

Monica: Thanks! Glad you love this story. Glad you found it funny. Humor is the one thing that I can't write. That's why most of what I write is angst. ;) 

sheri: Thanks for checking out the story. =) Thanks for giving the story a chance.

msQTpa2T: A heartfelt thank you for the emergency review. ^_^. Your review made me feel loved. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!! Thanks for putting me on your favorites!

bibleboymary4ever: I know it's cliched… Bad charmedhpfanatic! I'm sorry… just didn't know where else to take it. (",) Thanks!

miss.pebbles: I know. I didn't want to make Lorelai and Stephanie friends right away. Lorelai would be too perfect, and I hate overly perfect characters. But don't worry, they'll eventually be friends. But it is going to take a long time. =)

Misty: Thanks! Hope this chapter met your expectations.

klm11a: Thanks for the encouragement! I hope you liked this chapter! And… damn. You saw right through me. Yep, Stephanie will be the girl who will change Tristan. I make no promises that they will end up together… or that their ending will be happy. Don't worry, Tristan Sr. will definitely be okay. ^_^. You know… he could live… or he could die, and be happy with Rory. ^_^

          : ACK!!!! NO WAY!!!! STEPHANIE'S MOTHER IS NOT RORY! RORY IS DEAD!

Britt: Thanks! Writing in first person is something I rarely do, but I enjoy writing this in first person. Makes it harder to know what's happening between Tristan and Steph though. ^_^

indigo-chica: Thanks for saying this story is unique! When I wrote it, there were very few stories like this… but now, I guess there are a lot more like it. Oh well.

Deeta: Aw!! Thanks! I didn't want Lorelai to be too good. After all, who raised her? An ignorant Tristan. And her parternal grandparents put a lot of pressure on her to succeed academically. I'll put that in a later chapter. Yep, Tristan Jr.'s tale is very much like the Trory tale isn't it? I'll try not to make it so obvious. =) Also, I'll try not to disappear.

flossie: Hehehe… kinda. There's a twist to the Stephanie-Tristan tale. Oh… and your review did scare me. Really. I froze when I read it. =)

Mel: Thanks! Exciting? Wow. Thanks!

Maria: Thanks!

flossie: A sequel? To whose journal? Lorelai or Rory? Thanks for the idea!

blaise: Thanks!!! I find my writing style too formal, and when someone says something was funny in my story.. aww…  go me! Hehehe… Okay… I know that sounded egoistical, but really… I find it so hard to write humor.

yadrianne: Thanks for giving the story a chance!!!

Hayley: Thanks!!!

S.Espino: Thanks!!!

Lisa T: Not a trory shipper? Yet you liked the story? Wow! Thanks!

darasun: Blue… hmm. My favorite color. Okay, scrap the author's note: I was not abducted by little blue men. (",) And thank you do much for remembering my story. Don't worry, I'll continue!!!

To all my reviewers: I find it so gratifying when someone tells me that the story made them cry, or laugh out loud. Although I get the cry more than the laugh. Anyway… that's one of the best things about writing. It makes me feel so appreciated. Thanks!!!!

Final Author's Note: I swear I'm going to shut up soon! Just one more thing… PLEASE REVIEW!!!! You guys have no idea how much l crave them. =)


	8. You'll Soon See How Strange

Disclaimer: I don't own the wonderful show Gilmore Girls!

Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to update!!! Every time I tried to log on to ff.net, I'd see the message site experiencing overload, come back later. It was really frustrating. Anyway… without any further ado… I present to you chapter eight.

Reliving the Past

Chapter Eight

I always hated this day. Every year, this day gets harder and harder. November 9. The Night Mom Never Came Back.

It's horrible. I mean, I rarely cry. Tristan doesn't cry. Dad doesn't cry. But on this day, we all do. Of course, not that anyone sees. I don't see my brother or dad cry. But I know they do. On this day, dad's eyes always seem red-rimmed, and you can tell that Tristan has been crying because he refuses to look anyone in the eye.

On this day, we always spend it here. At the Stars Hollow graveyard. Mom insisted that if ever she died, she be buried here. Not in the DuGrey family plot. 

We don't talk much during this day. We sit nearby, writing our own letters to her, we bring flowers… me and dad only of course.

Tristan goes to Star's Hollow, but he doesn't go into the graveyard, much less look at the grave. He waits in the car, despite the fact that we usually spend the whole morning there. 

I wrote my letter to mom, attached pictures of all that I'd been doing… I slipped it into the flowers we had put there so it wouldn't be blown away. 

"Hey mom… I'm still top in my class… but I might not be anymore. There's this new girl. Her name's Stephanie Parker. She's as smart as I am. But I can handle competition. Anyway… Tristan got into a fight yesterday too. Which is strange because he's not a violent person… at least not that I know. 

"It's strange you know. Doing this. Playing mom." I sighed. "You were supposed to do this. You're supposed to remind dad to take his medicines, go to the hospital… you're supposed to be the one talking to Tristan, getting him to open up… not me."

I ran a finger over the inscription. Lorelai Leigh Gilmore-DuGrey. Beloved Wife and Mother.

I walked to the car, so dad could talk to her alone. I glanced at him, and he was walking closer, kneeling next to her grave.

I got into the backseat of the car.

Tristan was staring at the dashboard with a far off expression on his face. It didn't take a genius to know that he was thinking about mom.

He sighed and looked at the mirror, looking at me. "Talk to me."

I frowned. "What?"

"Talk to me. To get my mind off… all this." He gestured to the cemetery, but didn't look at it.

"About what?"

"Anything. Just not… mom."

I glanced at dad. I saw him hunched over, a hand on the grave, another clasping a single long-stemmed rose.

"Why did you beat up Zach?"

"Something else, Lor."

"Do you have feelings for Stephanie?"

He turned around to look at me. "What makes you think that?"

I couldn't gauge anything from his expression. I shrugged. "You knew where her house was, you asked her out but she's never said yes, and you picked a fight with her boyfriend."

"And all this makes you think I have feelings for her."

"Well, yeah." I looked him in the eye. "Seriously. Do you?"

He looked at his feet. "I don't know. I mean, sure, she's funny, smart, beautiful… and I probably would have dated her and gone on to the next girl… but…"

I smirked. "She's never said yes, so you can't move on to the next girl yet."

"Exactly."

"Sorry to break it to you sweetie, but you've got it bad." I smiled cheerfully at him.

"What?"

"Tristan, I think the whole school knows you have feelings for her." 

He scoffed. "The whole school?"

I nodded.

"Lor. It's only because she's never said yes."

"So you do have feelings for her."

He smirked. "Well, more like deeply in lust."

That was disturbing. He was my brother. "Ew."

"Hey, you asked."

"So… you like her because she's never said yes to you."

"No. I pay attention to her because she's different," he pointed out. "Lor, you know you're the only girl in my life."

"Don't suck up to me and think I'm going to drop this subject."

"I'm not!" Tristan put on an innocent expression. It so didn't suit him.

"Well, then answer me," I pressed on.

He looked expectantly. 

I dropped the bomb. "Do you have feelings… more than lust, more than interest, in Stephanie?"

Tristan turned around completely. "Perk up your ears little sister. Stephanie is pretty, smart, and totally out of league. Or so my friends say."

My eyes widened. "It was a bet?"

"No. Just my proving that no one was out of my league." He sat back in his seat.

"So she's a bet?"

He shrugged. "Kind of."

"What do you get if you get her to go out with you?" 

"Respect."

"All this for respect?" I asked incredulously. "Tristan, was the entire beating up her boyfriend, helping her out… was that all just an act?"

He looked at me. "Well, of course. Stephanie's the type who wants a nice guy to help her out, play possessive… even if she won't admit it. Besides. There's something about her boyfriend that gets on my nerves."

"Tristan, that's sick!" I exclaimed. I never knew by brother was capable of doing something like that.

He shrugged. "Lor, you've known me your whole life. You know I always get what I want."

*

Journal

_January 6_

_Well, wedding preparations are ongoing, and Tristan and I are going back to Harvard. The Haydens didn't want to have any part in the wedding, after all, I wasn't their only grandchild, they had my stepsister. Before we left, Tristan and I had a very awkward conversation. Extremely awkward._

End Journal

I glanced at dad from the couch. We were at my grandparents house. Dad, Lane, and Paris were talking… Tristan was talking with Jess and Luke. Grandma was talking with Grandmother (dad's mom). Grandfather was talking to Kathy, mom's college room mate.

I opened the journal, with the intention to read, but after I started… it just didn't feel right to read her journal on this day. This day was about loosing her. The journal was about keeping her alive. They didn't mix.

I stared at the pages, not reading, but pondering Tristan's words. _You know I always get what I want._

It was true. There are many tales about Tristan in school, some probably greatly exaggerated. I hope. 

I've never questioned Tristan about these stories. I don't want to. It's a topic best left alone.

I remember that when we were younger, Tristan was always something of a mama's boy. Every time something bothered him, he would run straight to mom. There are pictures of the two of them, when he's on her lap and she's reading him a story… there's a video of his first day of kindergarten, Tristan is there, refusing to let go of her leg. When we were younger, dad would always tease Tristan about it.

I was a serious daddy's girl when I was younger as well. When I was very young. Until I was about five, I think. After that, dad realized he was favoring me and started treating us both equally. Mom never favored Tristan though, she loved us equally… but still, Tristan always ran to her when he was hurt, or angry, or upset. And I always ran to dad.

When mom died… well. I guess we all became introverts.

I think, all those years ago… we both lost our parents. Mom to the car crash, and Dad to his grief.

I looked at dad… and I realized we'd be loosing him soon. I didn't like thinking about it. I mean… I never let myself think about it much. I know that I'd probably end up crying like a baby.

I looked at Tristan. My brother was always confident, poised… like dad. I'm glad that he's my brother. I'd hate to be in Stephanie's shoes.

But really, Stephanie seems immune to Tristan. So… good for her.

Willow asked me once why I didn't do anything about Tristan. I remember I just shrugged and walked on. I think I never did anything about Tristan is that I was afraid he would pull away from me. I mean, I lost mom, dad was ignoring me… Tristan was the only one who seemed to care. I mean, grandma and Luke, and grandfather and grandmother… I know they all love me, but, I don't see them all that often.

I don't know if it was right of me to do that or not. I mean, think about it. What were the chances that Tristan would listen to me? He probably would have just shut me out too. And if he did listen to me… he'd probably resent me. On the other hand, I ignored his faults… and there are a lot of girls out there whose hearts he broke. 

Maybe there's another reason I don't complain about his not-caring attitude about other girls. Maybe I'm afraid that I'll loose him. Maybe that's why I hate Stephanie so much.

Okay… I know that's selfish of me… but Tristan is soon going to be the only family I have left… and I don't want to give him up.

And in my defense, Tristan hated… really hated… the two boyfriends I had. One he beat up when we broke up… the second… he made Chilton hell for him. It was strange… I always shut my cell phone off on dates, because he calls every minute past my curfew. Dad didn't care really. 

One scary time was when I went to this Chilton party. I went with my boyfriend, and Tristan went with… I don't remember. He went with some girl. Anyway, Tristan watched my boyfriend like a hawk. The minute my boyfriend picked up a drink, Tristan's glare if possible, was even more intense.  When we were going to go home, Tristan came up. They started arguing. Rather, Tristan was saying things like 'You had a drink and you're going to drive her home? Over my dead body.'

The entire thing ended with Tristan driving me home, my boyfriend going home alone, and the girl Tristan was with, I think, hooking up with another guy.

I wonder if Tristan will ever fall in love. I wonder if there will be a girl to see past the façade that he shows the rest of the world. Tristan… once you get to know him, is actually the nicest person I've ever known. He's responsible, caring, sensitive… he's a very good friend. 

Before mom died, so many people would comment on what adorable children Tristan and I were, how friendly and helpful we were. The people at school would say the same. We were like the poster family for a happy home life. When mom died… well, lets just say that adorable was replaced by snob and asshole.

People call me a snob because after mom died, I kept to myself more, started smiling less. Before, I would smile all the time, always greet people hello… well after I didn't feel like it anymore. Willow was the only one of my friends who stuck with me, and I'm so thankful for her. 

Tristan on the other hand pushed away all his friends, and when he started Chilton, he made a new life for himself. 

I looked at the journal, and put it back in my bag. I glanced at my watch and made my way over to the phone, and slowly dialed Stephanie's number.

"Hello, Parker residence," a cheerful voice chirped.

"Good afternoon, may I please speak to Stephanie?"

"Hold on a sec."

Stephanie came on the line after lots of yelling and passing on messages. "Hello?"

"Stephanie? It's Lorelai. Look, we have to decide how we're going to present our Algebra project. Soon. Preferably now."

"Lorelai, we still have like a month to do it."

I barely contained my impatience. "If you want to fail, that's fine. I'll do it on my own."

"Lorelai, wait! Look, are you in Star's Hollow?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to meet there?"

I looked at everyone gathered. "Hold on a second."

I walked to where dad and Luke were talking. "Luke, can I stay at the diner to discuss a project with a classmate?"

Luke looked at me. "Uh… sure. Here are the keys."

He fished the keys out of his pocket. Dad frowned at me. "You're going to do school work? Today?"

I froze guiltily, but recovered. "The world will go on turning whether mom's here or not. She's dead, there's nothing anyone can do about it."

The entire room froze. I walked out the door, and picked up my cell phone. "Stephanie? Yeah. Meet me at Luke's. You know where it is? Good."

*

To Be Continued…

*

Author's Note: I finally know how to change the Tristan/Stephanie story so it's not clichéd anymore! Thanks for all your ideas!!!


	9. I'm Not Kidding

Reliving the Past

Chapter Nine 

Stephanie had brought materials, and we had started working on the project. We were doing the title page. We planned this really intricate design, so we were starting on that. I took the opportunity to ask Stephanie some questions.

"How long have you and Zach been dating?"

Stephanie glanced at me. "Pretty long, actually. Couple years. But we were best friends before he was my boyfriend."

"That must be nice."

"It is. How long have you known Tristan?"

I frowned at her. "My whole life."

"You guys seem really close."

"We are."

There was an awkward pause.

Stephanie spoke again. "Sorry about my mom. She's-"

"I don't mind. My mom was like that."

"Was?"

"She's dead," I said flatly.

"Oh. I'm so sorry," she said quietly. 

I wasn't about to say 'Don't be, I'm over it,' or 'It's alright' because I wasn't.

"How did she die?" Stephanie asked… somewhere between curious and concerned.

I glanced sharply at her.

"I'm sorry," Stephanie added hurriedly. "If you don't want to talk about her, it's fine…"

"No, it's okay," I sighed and pushed a some of my hair out of my face. "She was driving home from work, drunk driver hit her car."

"How old were you?"

I closed my eyes briefly and saw it all again. Dad dropping the phone, running out the door. Luke coming with a face more burly and sullen than usual. Grandma sitting looking lost. Dad sobbing into his hands. Tristan's closed eyes as the coffin passed. Mom lying there, looking so beautiful…

I pulled myself out of my reverie. "Eleven."

"That must have been hard. I mean, I know if my mom died, I would be devastated."

"I was. Devastated, I mean."

"Were you close?"

"Extremely." My reply was soft. 

"You seem do have dealt well."

I gave a bitter laugh at that. "Yeah, well. People come, people go. Fact of life."

She looked at me with a wry smile. "That's pessimistic."

I shrugged. "That was realistic."

We worked in silence for a while.

"You're lucky, you know," I said softly.

Stephanie glanced at me. "Me? Lucky? How so?"

"Your mom's still alive and you're not about to loose your dad."

"You're about to loose your dad?" she asked gently.

I didn't know why I was talking about it, I don't talk to anyone about this. Not even Willow. Not even Tristan.

"Yeah. Brain tumor."

Stephanie exhaled. "Wow. To think I envied _you_."

"Envied me?" I repeated.

"Yeah. I mean, you're so smart, pretty, everyone knows you, teachers love you… plus, you're the only girl that Tristan respects, but now I'm realizing…"

"My life isn't that perfect?"

"Exactly."

I smiled weakly. "No one's life is. It can be good for a while, but… eventually, something will always come to screw it up."

"I never knew that you were so cynical."

"Yep, I'm the poster girl for hope, cheer, and optimism," I said sarcastically.

"No… I just meant… you seemed quiet, bit introversive… but not cynical."

I looked up at her from the illustration board laid out before me. "Yeah, well. Maybe it's just today."

"Why?"

"November 9. Day she died."

Stephanie was silent. "I'm sorry," she said after a pause.

I looked at her curiously. "You already said that."

"No, because I thought you skipped school with Tristan. He wasn't in school either, you know."

What? Where had that come from? Didn't she know that Tristan was my brother? "Um, Stephanie-"

"No, I mean, Tristan is the type who'd skip classes, but you aren't. At least you don't seem to."

"Uh, Stephanie, Tristan is-"

"I mean, I know he has a player reputation-"

"Tristan's my-"

"and… I know you care very much for Tristan, and I've been getting in your way-"

My mind was spinning. Be kind, rewind. What did she mean by that?

"-I swear, I never wanted to feel for Tristan the way I did, I _did_ break it off with him-"

My mind had moved on from spinning to caught in a tornado. She and Tristan had dated? How come I didn't know about it? How come _no one_ knew about it?

"But, you know Tristan, he didn't accept it… and… well…" Stephanie glanced at my horrified expression. "Okay, I think that's my cue to leave. I'll see you in school, Lorelai."

My mind was reeling… spinning… out of control… I moved mechanically, cleaning up the place. After of course, I finished staring into space for three minutes. Stephanie had feelings for Tristan? They had had a… secret… liaison? Tristan's only known her three months! She was dating someone! Urkel. Gurgle. Viskok. Wha?

My brain went mush.  I couldn't form coherent sentences. 

I stepped outside… and quickly hid behind a tree so I wouldn't be noticed. Not that they would have noticed if the floor blew up from under them.

Who you ask?

Isn't it obvious?

Stephanie. And Tristan.

I wish I hadn't heard their conversation. I think I'm traumatized for life. 

They broke away for air probably a few seconds after I stepped outside.

"No… Tristan… we can't…" Stephanie whispered… Tristan still kissing her neck.

Yes, you can't! Do you want to scar me for life?

"Stephanie…" Tristan murmured. "Shut up."

"Okay…"

And they were off.

Oh god, I thought I was going to be sick.

Stephanie pushed him away again.

Thank you, Stephanie. My eternal gratitude. I'll only make you pay fifty percent of my therapy.

"Tristan… this is wrong. You have Lorelai, I have Zach…"

"Lorelai will stay with me no matter what…" Tristan answered… still going at it.

Ilk. Mudge. Wibmle. Okay, that was it. That was it. The minute I get out of here, I'm checking myself into the nearest mental institution. Not even dad will be able to pay for my therapy bills.

"And Zach… does he make you feel like this?" Tristan said huskily. 

"Tristan, please go away…" Stephanie whispered. But she wasn't stopping him. I didn't even want to see what Tristan was doing. I turned away… but kissing sounds and conversation was still heard.

"I'm the only one who knows you Stephanie… the only one who understands…"

"Tristan please…"

"Do you think others would accept you if they knew who you really were? They wouldn't."

"Tristan…"

"I know you, Stephanie. No one else can know you like I do."

Finally, Stephanie regained her ability to speak sentences. "Tristan, please. Stay away from me. You're not who I want to be with, you're not-"

"And once again, ladies and gentlemen, she's back to this. I'm from the city, a manipulative, influential family, spoiled brat, golden child. Gets what he wants. I have a secret agenda."

I could practically see Tristan rolling his eyes.

"You think your angelic Zach hasn't kept secrets from you? You think he's really as good as you think he is? He's not. No one is. Not even you."

"Lorelai isn't like that."

Stephanie, please don't bring me into this, I begged silently.

"Lorelai is a whole different story."

"No, Lorelai wants to be valedictorian, and that's what she's going to be. She's not playing any games, or hiding behind names, influence, and money," Stephanie answered. "She's not like you, Tristan. She's not like everyone else in this school. And neither am I."

"First of all, I know how honest Lorelai is. She's innocent, sweet, naïve… and I plan to keep it that way. As for you… you may think you are… but cheating on your boyfriend… you just proved you weren't. You're just like every other person at Chilton, playing the game, living with the rules. Only, you brought an outsider in. Your precious Zach."

I couldn't take it anymore. Anymore that that would put me in a coma.

I didn't trust myself to make sounds, so I dropped my bag, my school bag. Finally, they noticed me.

Tristan had Stephanie pressed against the car. Stephanie was crying, Tristan looked angry. But the minute he saw me, he sighed. He backed away from Stephanie, and walked to me, taking my bag. He put an arm over my shoulders, and cast a final glance at Stephanie.

"Come on, Lorelai. Let's go home."


	10. Really, You'll See

Reliving the Past

Chapter Ten

I cannot believe Tristan. I never knew he could be that way. It was scary. I would hate to be in Stephanie's shoes. Stephanie looked desperate… like she was loosing control.

Tristan made her loose control.

For the nth time, I'm glad that Tristan is my brother.

We drove back to the house. I didn't say anything, I couldn't.

After about twenty minutes, I finally regained the ability to speak.

"Stephanie doesn't know I'm your sister."

Tristan glanced at me quickly. "I think."

"How can she not know? Everyone knows. Does she even know your last name?" I was loosing it. I was completely loosing it.

"I don't think so."

"She told me you guys had been involved… oh god, have you slept with her?"

Tristan's voice was carefully neutral. "I don't think that's any of your business."

I shut my eyes. "Oh my god.

"Lorelai, why are you overreacting like this?" Tristan said, sounding annoyed. "It's not the first time I've done this."

I breathed heavily. "Oh my god. Please don't let this be happening."

"What? Lor, what is wrong with you?"

"Tristan, don't you see how awful what you're doing is?"

"My life is my own business, Lorelai."

"It's not your business when you make it a game to break someone's heart!" I shrieked. "How many girls have you done this to? Do you even care about them?"

"Shut up. You have no idea what you're talking about." Tristan's voice was cold and furious.

"What did they do to deserve that? What kind of a person are you?"

"Lorelai, please. Shut up." 

But I couldn't stop thinking about Stephanie's tearstained face… the pain that was written there. And it was all because of Tristan.

"Stephanie did nothing to deserve that! Why would you do that to her!?"

"Dammit, Lorelai, shut _up_!"

"What would mom say if she knew what you were doing? You know, she was a new girl at Chilton once too! Do you think she'd be proud of you? Playing and hurting every girl you date? Mom would be so disappointed in you, Tristan!"

Tristan took his eyes of the road and turned to me angrily. "For the last time, Lorelai, SHUT UP!" 

"Tristan!" I yelled as a flash of yellow headlights shined on us. 

Tristan jerked the steering wheel quickly, the car swerved off the road, and my last thought was 'Was this what mom felt?' as blackness overtook me.

*

Sorry, I have to go away from Lorelai's POV. She can't very well narrate while she's in a coma.

Tristan sat in his office at home, staring at a picture. 

Rory was so beautiful… so good, so light, so sweet. She was perfect. 

And it was so unfair, so unfair that she had been taken from him so quickly.

Rory had been everything to him… Rory and his kids. When Rory had died… he never told them this… he hadn't wanted to see them. Not at the funeral and just after she died… then, he had clung to them… but the month after that. 

They reminded him so much of his late wife. 

Tristan… when he was younger of course… Tristan had been shy, sweet, bookish… exactly like Rory. He was a mix of the two of them. Tristan was the one who had inherited Rory's coffee obsession. 

And Lorelai. She was exactly like Rory. She had Rory's big blue eyes, long brown hair, and sweet smile. Lorelai was shy, sweet, charming, and smart. It had hurt so much to see Lorelai… because she was an instant reminder of Rory. Seeing Lorelai always brought back stabs of pain at his heart. 

He put the family picture back in the drawer where he kept it. He couldn't keep it at his desk, it was too much. But he couldn't bear to not be able to see her face. Not that he needed a picture.

The phone rang, and Tristan nearly jumped in terror.

He shook his head. "I have to get over this paranoia…" he mumbled to himself. He picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Mr. DuGrey?" a female voice asked.

"Yes," Tristan said frowning.

"My name is Angela Butler," she paused. "Your children were in an accident."

Panic, horror, and dread filled Tristan. No. Not this again. "A-A-Are they… Are they all right?" he finally managed. "What happened?"

"A car accident. Your son took his eyes of the road, and swerved to avoid a collision with another car. Their car skidded down a ravine, and hit a tree. Mr. Buchanan, the driver of the car they swerved around, called 911."

"Are they all right?" Tristan asked, sitting down, finding himself unable to support himself. Somehow… it was his fault. Why the hell did he give Tristan a car? Why did he trust them to be on their own, driving, at night? What was wrong with him? Hadn't he learned anything?

"Your son was lucky, he escaped the crash with a broken arm and minor concussion."

Good, that was good… but… "What… What happened to Lorelai?" he said, his voice sounded foreign.

She hesitated a moment.

Tristan's hand started shaking. "What happened to her?"

"She suffered massive head injuries, a few cracked ribs, and a punctured lung."

"What hospital are they at?"

"Littleton General." 

Tristan hung up, and dialed another number. On the third ring, someone finally answered. "Paris? Yeah. Can you drive me to the hospital? I don't think I can get there myself."

*

Tristan walked quickly into the hospital. "I'm looking for Lorelai and Tristan DuGrey."

The nurse looked up. "I'll be with you in a minute, sir, can you please take a seat?"

Tristan could barely contain his anger. "Look-"

"Tristan!" Paris snapped. She turned to the nurse. "Excuse me-"

Tristan didn't pay attention to what Paris said, but when the nurse, with a terrified look on her face said first room on the right, he had taken off.

Tristan burst into the room. His son was sitting on an examining table. 

"Dad…" Tristan said softly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

Tristan Sr. walked forward, and surprising his son, he hugged Tristan tightly. "I was so worried…" he said softly. "Thank God you're all right." 

"Mr. DuGrey?" the doctor asked. 

Tristan nodded. "How is he?"

"A minor concussion, and broken arm. We can take the cast off in a month or so."

Tristan nodded. "When will he be released?"

"In a couple hours probably. We just need to run some test and x-rays, and he can go home."

Tristan nodded, staring at his son who was looking guiltily at the floor. 

Paris poked her head in. "Tristan? Lorelai's in the operating room."

Tristan nearly ran out the door, but looked at his son. "Paris, will you stay with Tristan?"

Paris nodded. "I'll call Star's Hollow."

Tristan looked at her. "Thanks, Paris."

*

Tristan sat outside the waiting room of the operating room. God… his little girl. Lorelai was too young to die. She wasn't going to die. It was supposed to be him first. Children did not die while their parents were still alive.

Lorelai, the older one, was waiting with him. 

A middle-aged man in blue scrubs came out, and Tristan stood up right away.

"I'm Dr. Walsh. Are you the father of Lorelai DuGrey?"

"Yes, I am. Is she going to be all right?"

"She was brought here just in time. We were able to stop the bleeding, and fix most of her injuries. However there was severe trauma to the head."

Tristan was growing impatient. "Meaning?"

The doctor sighed. "Although her condition is stable, she's in a coma, and there's no telling when she'll wake up. If she wakes up at all."

Tristan shut his eyes. This couldn't be happening. This was his little girl. This was Lorelai.

Lorelai Danes spoke up. "Can we see her?"

The doctor glanced at the woman. "She's being moved to a private room. Follow me." 

*

Tristan's heart broke at the sight of Lorelai. Her head was bandaged, there were several large bruises and scratches on her arms and face. She was hooked up to a respirator.

She looked so small and helpless in the bed. He walked forward, and kissed her forehead.

"Hey, Mary…" he whispered. "How are you doing, sweetie?"

Of course she made no reply. "If it helps any, I'm grounding Tristan. Till he's about eighty. I'll put bars on his windows so he can't sneak out."

He looked at her… looking so pale and wounded… and he was reminded of seeing Rory's lifeless face on the metal examining table.

The most horrible experience of his life.

"Isn't this ironic? You, nearly dying on the exact same day your mother did," Tristan said, voice wavering. "If you take journalism in college, you can write a book about this. We're an extremely interesting family."

Still no response from Lorelai.

"Or even if you don't. You become famous one day, your biography…" Tristan trailed off. It wasn't fair. Lorelai was too young to die… in fact, he was supposed to go first. Tristan realized he was so prepared to leave them… but he wasn't at all prepared for them to leave him.


	11. Really!

Reliving the Past

Chapter Eleven

Tristan DuGrey II was moody, disheveled, and what's more, looked absolutely horrible. His eyes were bloodshot, his movements slow. He seemed lost in his own world.

Stephanie swore to herself she wasn't watching him. She wasn't in the least bit worried about Tristan. She wasn't wondering why he had a cast. She wasn't wondering what had happened between him and Lorelai.

So it was a mystery to all involved, actually to herself, why she was moving towards him. 

"Tristan… are you all right?"

And for the first time that she knew Tristan, he didn't greet her with a lewd remark, or gaze that made her self-conscious.

He only glanced briefly at her and took books out of his locker again. "Do I look all right?"

"No, you look like hell," Stephanie answered truthfully, not mentioning he looked so lost as well, that she wanted nothing more to get that dead look out of his eyes.

Tristan slammed his locker shut. "Is there a point to this?" But he didn't wait for an answer. He started walking away.

"I was wondering if you knew why Lorelai wasn't in class today," she called out to him.

He stopped short. "She's in the hospital."

She walked towards him. "The hospital, why?"

His voice was clipped. "None of your business."

He walked off, and this time, Stephanie didn't follow him.

"Tristan!" another voice called. Tristan spun around in annoyance. What now?

It was Willow.

"Tristan!"

Tristan sighed. "What?"

"Where's Lorelai? She wasn't in class, and there was this majorly important surprise test, she's going to be-"

"In the hospital."

"The hospital? Why? What happened?"

Tristan shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Tristan! You do not tell me, while wearing a cast, that my best friend since we were three is in the hospital, and then tell me 'I don't want to talk about it!'"

"It was my fault, okay! Is that what you wanted to hear? I'm the idiot who nearly got the person I cared for most in the world get hurt! She's in a coma, she might never wake up, and it's all _my damn fault!_"

Tristan took a deep breath. "We were driving to Star's Hollow. We were arguing. I took my eyes off the road, lost control of the car, and the last thing I saw was the Lorelai's blood on my hands."

Willow's eyes filled with tears. "But… she's going to be okay right? She'll be all right?"

Tristan started walking away from her, but Willow ran after him. 

"Tristan! Tell me my best friend is going to wake up, go to school, be valedictorian, and go to Harvard, like she always wanted!" Willow was openly sobbing already.

Tristan stared at the ground.

"TELL ME!"

Tristan shook his head. "The- the doctors…" Tristan swallowed hard. "They said if she does wake up, she wouldn't be… in full use of her capabilities."

Willow sniffed. "You mean, like amnesia, right?"

"I mean paralyzed."

"Oh god…" Willow put a hand over her mouth. "It's not fair…"

"You mean why isn't it me in that bed? I'm the one who'll never amount to anything, it's Lorelai who's the perfect child?"

"Tristan, that's not what I meant-"

But Tristan wasn't paying attention. "You think I don't know that? You think I don't know what everyone is thinking? _It should have been me! Every time I see my dad, I know exactly what he's thinking! He blames ME!"_

 

Tristan took a deep breath. "It's my fault," he said quietly. 

Willow took a step forward, and hugged Tristan. Tristan tentatively returned the hug. Willow was the only one of his ex-girlfriends that he was still, if not friends, on good terms with. When they had started dating, Lorelai had given a major talking-to. The whole, 'If you hurt her, I will spill all your secrets to the Chilton community' speech had never been so scary. They had broken up about a month later. Tristan's longest relationship. 

It had been after she had arrived from that exchange program. When she left, she was his little sister's best friend, when she came back, Tristan realized she was incredibly attractive. 

They realized that they weren't going to make it, and Tristan called it off, much to Willow's own relief. Lorelai had been disappointed.

"It wasn't your fault Tristan. It wasn't like you asked for it. I know how much you care about Lorelai."

Tristan had nothing to say.

So they stayed that way, in an empty hallway, holding on to each other for comfort. Old habits kicked in, and they didn't know who initiated the kiss, just that they were kissing each other. No love, no passion. Just comfort. They both knew that.

But Stephanie didn't.

And that was how she found them a few minutes later.

As she quickly left, she swore to herself Tristan kissing another girl didn't affect her one bit.

Not at all.

So it was a mystery to her why tears were running down her face as she left them.   


End file.
